Gewel Kamps | HealthGreatness
Most people are familiar with the different stages of a long term relationships. At first everything is love and sunshine. Both people are blissfully able to ignore the faults and hang ups of the other for a period of biological bliss that can last anywhere from a night to ten years, depending on luck. This phenomenon is quite possibly one of the only reasons the human race has lasted so long.
Eventually, and inevitably, this impossibly idealistic vision of the partner wears off. Depending on the strength of the initial “honeymoon phase,” one individual’s crashing fall from the pedestal may be harder than another. At this point each partner will begin to notice the less attractive aspects of their partner’s personality traits. It is important to note that we all possess faults, some more than others, and no one is exempt. That’s why the first step to really getting along with someone for the long haul is to completely accept their absolutely annoying traits as an integral part of that person that is loved and make a firm resolve to not try and change them. This is not to say that people cannot grow, but that growth must be on their own time, and it cannot be forced. If you can make this resolve for someone you truly love, then you both will be much happier.
The secret to a happy love life is harmony with the people you love. It sounds easier than it really is. That’s why so many people die alone when they don’t have to. No one plans for it to happen, but it does. To get along with someone fully, you have to be able accept their faults. If you can’t love someone at their worst, the relationship cannot stand the test of time.
Sometimes a person feels duped, because they were not fully aware of these faults in the initial portion of the relationship. But the fact is that this is actually the way the person has been the entire time, since you fell for them, faults and all. The only difference now is the initial overwhelming rush of good feelings have subsided enough for the undesirable qualities to be noticed.
Acceptance and clarity are the keys to a stress-free relationship. Figuring out these two dynamics is a major piece to truly and unconditionally loving someone. Be as clear as possible with your own needs while accepting fully the personality flaws of your partner, and you can spend more time loving and less fighting.